Know Truth

and make it known to others


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castlesartmagic
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Getting a Life
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castlesartmagic

The more you have going on in your own life, the less you care about what other people are doing.

I should tell this to Ed the next time he invites me to another stupid artist's party.

I'm sure he'll appreciate it.


CAPOLAVORO
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castlesartmagic

Attorno al tuo corpo
c'è un alone di morte
ti guardo il viso scarno,
tu sorridi, sei forte
il tuo viso cereo e gli impulsi lenti
le tue labbra scure mi fanno stridere i denti.
Aspetti pacato la tua soluzione
la tua morte in agrodolce dà
una strana sensazione,
una strana sensazione
una strana sensazione una strana ...

tu mi hai chiesto di non piangere;
era l'ultimo favore
anche questo ti è negato, caro amico sfortunato
e il mondo ti condanna e ne parla disgustato,
questo sporco mondo idiota proprio lui che t'ha creato,
questo sporco mondo idiota proprio lui, che t'ha creato,

ma io no,
ma io no io ti capisco io non biasimo il tuo gesto,
io conosco la tua storia, sò la tua triste poesia
col sapore della morte, la tua mano nella mia

e dopo questa mia morte
ritorna la vita in me
ed ora mi sento il più forte,
non ho più regine ma un re (I have no queen but a king)


Punishment
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castlesartmagic
A slave does things by fearing the punishment of its master. A free man does things by anticipating the disgust he will feel in the future for not doing it. That is nature's punishment.

Procrastination
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castlesartmagic
Procrastination is refusing to admit that you don't really want to do what you tell yourself you want to do. That's as simple as it gets but in the flux of time, procrastination gets a bit more complicated. In the moment, you can be perfectly correct in admitting that you don't want to do what you have a tendency to believe you really want to do. It would be great if this simple admission was enough to extinguish the nasty habit of telling yourself that you have ambitions but it merely provides a small handle on the real problem. Naturally, the ego won't back down so easily. It will still want to build itself up on the belief that all the things you say you want to do, you really want to do despite the fact that you are not now doing them or making any preparations for finally doing them. It is too painful for the ego to admit that what you are really doing is avoiding the things that you are convinced will make you feel great if you ever got around to doing them. This way, the ego is free to dream about a hypothetical future where you have accomplished all your goals and have reaped all the pleasurable emotional benefits.

Most people, those who have no knowledge of psychology, will say that your avoidance is based on a fear of not being good enough to accomplish what you believe you want to accomplish, and in most cases they could be right. But there is a greater fear that most aren't aware of and this is the unconscious fear (anxiety) that even doing the things you want to do will bring you only a fleeting and ultimately hollow happiness. This is a more fundamental fear which we have been programmed to ignore throughout our whole lives, after all any kind of happiness is ultimately hollow and fleeting, we see this every day in our own lives and in the lives of others but we run away from this fact so forcefully that when we are forced to think about it, it appears bizarre and too negative to have any truth to it. Yet, nevertheless it is true and there really is no point in running away from it. It will always be there.

Once you have acclimated yourself to this truth, it's really no big deal and becomes as natural as anything else. You may even laugh at yourself for having dealt with it in such a pathetic way before. A simple way to confront this nagging weakness is to simply do the things you've been avoiding knowing full well that they won't bring you any permanent happiness that will permanently change your life and the way you experience reality. It can be as simple as not waiting until four in the morning to take out the garbage or it can be that artistic career you know is dumb yet secretly dream about anyway. This is the only way to discard such things from your mind and leave yourself more open to other possibilities in life.

Making Art
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castlesartmagic
For a Genius, trying to make art is like setting the world on fire and expecting to end up with a sellable commodity. The true nature of art-making is compromise. You have to speak down to the people in order to get their attention while making sure that they don't feel like they're being talked-down to. They need to feel entertained without suspecting that what they are engaging in is mere entertainment. They need to be stimulated without the stimulation hinting at unpleasant things they'd rather avoid and which unconsciously led the to the circumstance of wanting to be entertained in the first place.

For people without Genius, people who are barely more conscious than dogs or cats, it's easy to make art. They have all the confidence of oblivious morons. They don't see nor do they care what their activity is leading them to, only that it feels good and it gets the attention of other people who, for the most part, are more timid when it comes to attention whoring themselves through art. They do have some consciousness and the essence of Genius is nothing but consciousness. They are connected to what they fear (Truth) but for this very reason, do not dare to get too close to it. Their fearful, expectant nature keeps them delighted at the periphery. Every so often, one of their type will inch a fraction of an inch closer to the center, which has been obscured by fear and the slight disturbance this causes will be a cause for celebration as long as any significant implications are conveniently ignored and forgotten.

A.M.O. (Sunny)
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castlesartmagic
Had another sleepover with Sunny after Victor's show. Don't really feel like writing about it, maybe later. Spend most of the day with her after waking up, watching her pack and talking about ourselves. Got home at around 9PM.

The show was pretty lame. Ed got very drunk.

?

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