Know Truth

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Procrastination
wounded
castlesartmagic
Procrastination is refusing to admit that you don't really want to do what you tell yourself you want to do. That's as simple as it gets but in the flux of time, procrastination gets a bit more complicated. In the moment, you can be perfectly correct in admitting that you don't want to do what you have a tendency to believe you really want to do. It would be great if this simple admission was enough to extinguish the nasty habit of telling yourself that you have ambitions but it merely provides a small handle on the real problem. Naturally, the ego won't back down so easily. It will still want to build itself up on the belief that all the things you say you want to do, you really want to do despite the fact that you are not now doing them or making any preparations for finally doing them. It is too painful for the ego to admit that what you are really doing is avoiding the things that you are convinced will make you feel great if you ever got around to doing them. This way, the ego is free to dream about a hypothetical future where you have accomplished all your goals and have reaped all the pleasurable emotional benefits.

Most people, those who have no knowledge of psychology, will say that your avoidance is based on a fear of not being good enough to accomplish what you believe you want to accomplish, and in most cases they could be right. But there is a greater fear that most aren't aware of and this is the unconscious fear (anxiety) that even doing the things you want to do will bring you only a fleeting and ultimately hollow happiness. This is a more fundamental fear which we have been programmed to ignore throughout our whole lives, after all any kind of happiness is ultimately hollow and fleeting, we see this every day in our own lives and in the lives of others but we run away from this fact so forcefully that when we are forced to think about it, it appears bizarre and too negative to have any truth to it. Yet, nevertheless it is true and there really is no point in running away from it. It will always be there.

Once you have acclimated yourself to this truth, it's really no big deal and becomes as natural as anything else. You may even laugh at yourself for having dealt with it in such a pathetic way before. A simple way to confront this nagging weakness is to simply do the things you've been avoiding knowing full well that they won't bring you any permanent happiness that will permanently change your life and the way you experience reality. It can be as simple as not waiting until four in the morning to take out the garbage or it can be that artistic career you know is dumb yet secretly dream about anyway. This is the only way to discard such things from your mind and leave yourself more open to other possibilities in life.

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